That girl. That face. I knew her somehow. She swept by me. I didn’t recognize her at first. The flash of the moment drew me in. I had to look twice.
She was alluring, brimming with quiet innocence. So bright, alive. An ethereal statement reflected outwards.
Today we met. This girl and I. I felt my heart swell. I wanted to run and tell someone. I wanted to ask if they remembered that mysterious girl I’d kept mentioning. A current of recognition was moving. Deep down. In ways that hadn’t in so long. A rush spilled over. Home felt familiar in this place I’d been searching for. It seemed like forever, and this moment was it. I’d been stumbling in the dark. This time, someone caught me as I fell. I no longer had to question whether or not there was a proverbial light at the end of my tunnel. My heart had touched it. Touched it so that it had marked me and wouldn’t let itself be forgotten. Pandora’s box was no longer a long evaded mystery.
There is an unpredictability to life. Things are thrown at us that we don’t always understand how to catch. It can leave us on our knees, picking shrapnel from our flesh. The spectrum of human emotion can be so difficult to unravel. We’re up one minute, down the next. Confusion is easily consumed, leaving us with no definite answers. Ultimately our compass is the voice we must tune into. With determination. Some things are easier to accept than others. Life can be more than unfair at times. What can we do with that unfairness? We can decide. We can create something beautiful for ourselves where we might not have considered.
It hurts less if you let it go…
I don’t think anyone should have to go this road alone. This renewed me I met, opened new doors. Our reunion was facilitated by a caring system of women at SASS (Sexual Assault Support Services for Women of S.D.G.&A.) There are some things best carried together. SASS has been a stepping stone for change and support. A safe place to explore my inner and outer worlds.
Counseling sessions left me feeling different. Even when I didn’t see it, when I couldn’t. I’d walked away from myself many times. I’d set myself down. Forgotten where I’d hidden away. Forgotten to pick myself back up. SASS gave me a pivotal outlet. Somewhere to be advocated for with understanding, where I could choose to take chances on myself. Old ideologies were tossed out when I gave myself permission to create anew.
Beneath the things weighing me down, I found a dreamers heart. A heart believing that “they” and “that” aren’t the final deciding factors in life. Daring not to give away what could be taken back. I couldn’t help but search for something more.
SASS was an encouraging force of comfort. Time spent there was an investment in myself. I let myself wander even when I was unsure. I took a step. Then another. Being in the company of supportive women empowers healing. When things are hard compassion can be vital. I’ve left many sessions feeling wrapped in the warmth of a hug. I’ve found laughter, strength and care through SASS. The environment has never felt clinical. Many resources were made available in a very relaxed setting. Walking in you become part of the furniture, fostered by a sense of ease.
I was invited with a spirit of warmth. A needed understanding that I could undertake the process of helping myself see my true reflection. I was so eager to reconnect with viable parts of myself. These pieces of life, with time and care, became integral parts of my new sense of being. I was supported through processing my reality. A gift I readily gave myself, even in moments that were difficult. Those difficult moments were made easier with SASS.
I hope this post finds itself sharing a glimmer of light. That it might offer a glimpse of opportunity. You are worth the risk. Please reach out, or support someone you know in doing so.
*Sexual Assault Support Services for Women of S.D.G.&A @ (613) 932-1755
*24/7 Crisis and Support Lines @ 1-877-544-6424